On Sunday (Oct 30th) I was a little sad and out of sorts. Rachel was up almost every hour at night which is completely different from all my other kids. The other kids all took long sleeping breaks at this age. Even at the hospital, the nurses wanted me to wake them up more to feed them. It's very difficult to make a sleepy baby stay awake long enough to eat well.
Also I got a priesthood blessing from Nate during labor with all the other kids but didn't have time for that to happen this time. I rely greatly on receiving blesses at times when big changes occur and so I felt off that I didn't have one yet. In addition, I know I can only handle four kids and even though I'm greatly for sweet Rachel, I was a bit confused about not having a boy. I felt like I need more guidance to know if we are supposed to wait for a little boy to come or if we are done adding to our family. Though the blessing Nate gave me, I felt peace and assurance that Rachel is here at the right time in our family.
Sunday night, Rachel again only slept an hour or two at a time. By Monday, I was very weepy all the time though I tried to hide it from everyone. Whenever I started crying, I cried even more because I shouldn't be crying in the first place. I was told that after childbirth, your body even off natural happy hormones that helps you bond faster with your baby. I was looking forward to these happy hormones that I didn't get to feel with the other kids due to the pain medicine. So, I was very surprised and confused that I would still get the baby blues. I had nothing to be sad about but I was.
My mom mentioned to my friend during Robert's dance class that I was very weepy. She said she also felt that way with her baby and realized it was completely linked to her sleep. She also said getting out of the house might help too. So, even though I wanted to stay awake and be with everyone, my mom sent me to bed and I stopped crying as much. So, we made sure I took about two naps a day and that I got out of the house at least once a day. I think by Thursday, my emotions started leveling out and I stopped crying randomly.
The following Monday was Rachel's one week appointment and I talked with Valerie (one of the midwifes) about my baby blues experience and she said it occurs to most women and it coordinates with my milk coming it (which happened that first Monday). I'm glad I'm normal and don't need to increase my anti-depressant (SAM-e) to feel better. I was also getting a head of myself thinking about Rachel growing up too quickly. I just needed to slow down and enjoy having a tiny baby to cuddle and love. I'm very thankful that my mom was able to be here to help and take the other kids. I was able to have time to just be with Rachel and find the peace sleeping newborns bring.
preschool: green eggs and ham
14 years ago
2 comments:
I got the baby blues/depression with Addy. They didn't kick in until about 4 weeks and get a bit worse from there. Addy was (so far) my most difficult baby. She was a definite mama's girl. She barely tolerated Ryan holding her on the best day and out right despised it the rest of the time. She also cried non-stop and was mostly inconsolable. She cried and cried, but she was up every 2 hours to eat at night. Since I breast fed her, then that meant that I too was up every two hours. I found that with all of this going on depression came.
For me, too, sleep was the key. I spoke to my doctor about it and we decided that as long as I was able to get an adequate amount of sleep I could make it without meds. I was fortunate that Ryan was very helpful. We decided that Addy would have a formula bottle at one of her night time feedings to allow me a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep or he would stay up with her for a bit at night while I went to bed early. This helped, but by this time I had Krya and Addy on a schedule where they both took a nap at the same time after lunch. This was huge for me, because it meant I had a built in nap time during the day.
It is amazing what a little sleep will do and what not getting it will do to wreak havoc to your life. I hope that you are doing better and that little Rachel is being a bit nicer to you by sleeping better. :) :) As a new mom, whether you're on your first or your 10th, I realized that I couldn't do it alone. I needed Ryan's help with the kids, the house and with being able to care for myself during a very crazy time (physically, hormonally, adjusting to another kid and the house). I couldn't do it all and since I had Ryan around I knew I didn't have to.
Congratulations on Rachel. She's beautiful! Love you lots! Call if you need someone to talk to. Especially since you and I are both going through the adjustments of a new baby. :)
Thank you for sharing. Sometimes guys don't get it, and it's nice to see it's normal and manageable.
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