Sometime between St. Nick's Day (Dec 6th) and St. Lucia's Day (Dec 13th which we forgot to celebrate), I completely gave up on potty training Robert. I've struggled potty training Robert from the very beginning but he wanted to go potty so we tried. The first week went okay and he wanted to go potty with Hailey. We gave him the bath toys to play with and books. Soon the power struggle began. We tried a lot of different incentives to encourage him to go. We gave candy, used happy faces, gave pennies, went out for ice cream after so many dry days. We also tried doing punishments like no tv and having to clean up after himself by himself or he had to give us pennies back to help him.
Even though we started in August, we still didn't choose to use the potty by the time Rachel came. The week right before, he did very well, only one accident very two days. I expected some set backs when the baby was born which happened. Hailey even had accidents. Then he went through a period of time where he would be great for three days then have a day or two with nothing but accidents.
I realized around the beginning of December that he wasn't making it to the bathroom at all. So I started putting him in pull ups after he had one accident. Then one day he took off his pull up to pee in the potty. That was wonderful and hopeful. He finished up in the bathroom by himself and even used the big toilet. He then went into his room to change his clothes (he changes his outfit every time he goes potty whether they are wet or not). After a while, I went in a checked on him and saw him completely naked with poop on the floor. I was very mad and took away all of his underwear. I actually missed one that night and when he went to change into PJs, he found it and put it on. Since I was tired of fighting, I told him that that is his last pair and once that is wet no more underwear. He didn't even last 20 minutes.
I felt like a failure for a few days but for the most part there has been very little power stuggles. Robert and I get along pretty well. When we were potty training, we also made him responsible over getting himself dressed. I decided I didn't want to fight over that either and as long as he gets dressed quickly with my help, then I stay and help him.
Maybe we were just trying to get him to grow up faster then what he was ready for. I hoped that he would be potty trained before he goes into Primary and even before he turns 4 but I don't think that will happen. He has a whole year before he starts Kindergarten. So I don't feel the need to start potty training him again any time soon. Hannah however, wants to be potty trained and has peed in the little potty a couple of times. I know she doesn't have the bladder control yet but she has the desire which is saying a lot. Most likely, Hannah will be potty trained before Robert.
Having 3 kids in diapers (Robert's still in pull ups but they are getting expensive and will go to diapers when this packet runs out) isn't too bad and my sanity is worth it.
preschool: green eggs and ham
14 years ago
3 comments:
I tried potty training Dathan for a couple months and it was a pretty similar scenario - did well for awhile, accidents for awhile, something hopeful, something awful - the end. We did pull ups for a little while but they are twice as expensive as diapers and hold way less, so we're back in diapers. The "failure" feeling goes away when you start enjoying not having to watch him clean up 7 pee puddles a day. That's not failure, it's success : )
I have to add my two cents. I hate potty training and it gets frustrating when everyone has their own advice and opinions. BUT our situation with Madi was so similar that I thought I'd add something. It WAS a power struggle with Madi. She was ready and capable long before she actually trained. So.. I too gave up. I let her go about three weeks and I never even mentioned underwear, potty training, being "big"... Nothing. No postive or negative comments or hints were made. Then, one day when I was ready to try again, I told her that the diaper fairy had come and taken all of our diapers away. I told her there were NO MORE DIAPERS. Then at night when we were getting ready for bed, we would pretend that she dropped one of just for the night. We made a game out of it. And it worked for her. She wanted the diapers and cried for them, but I told her there just were not any more. I hid my supply so that she wouldn't see them. I tried everything you mentioned and more, nothing worked but this did. I simply put the ball in her court. I said, "No diapers. Now what?" And guess what. It worked. She felt in control, I guess. :) I hope that you can find something that works for Robert. Hang in there! I hate potty training!!
I understand your pain. Two of my kids fought it. I left it to them and eventually the just decided and did it. It isn't your fault. I always told myself to be grateful for kids that know what they want. Good luck
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